Another roller coaster day on the interwebz. I did the stupid thing of messaging my ex to see how her daughter was doing, whom out of the two find her to be the adorable one. Maybe I'm in denial and need to cut the little girl off along with her mother, but shees so cuteee! Well anyways, almost instantly as she responded, she puts up a pic of her playing this video game I used to play religiously. Not sure if she wanted to impress me or piss me off, since she wanted nothing to do with it when she was with me, and now with her new bf who also plays is now taking an active role in it.
So how did I respond. Like a fucking player. "Oh that's awesome, don't give up and don't get discouraged. You'll be a pro in no time." What I really wanted to say was, "Yeah I know I didn't have the patience to teach you and this new man of yours is going to get you up to speed real nicely before you two break up. Maybe then the next dude will find a gem out of you." I'm a fucking dick, but indifference is the way to ice an ex with her shit tests. You see at once I tried to teach her, but she sucked and refused to take my advice. Then she just stalked me on the game to see what I was up to, so I just removed her from my friends and told her it was a glitch.
I was like Billy Mays that night, because just when I iced her, I paused and had a "But wait there's more!" moment. I told her I was happy for her that she found somebody to connect with, and I hope she finds what she is looking for. I told her I didn't have any resentment or ill feelings towards her. That's when she had a small melt down, "Why would you resent me, if anyone would be resenting someone it would be me." I got a mouthful about what I did that was the nail in the coffin, which is a old replay of why we broke up. "Look, all of that was bullshit, and I know the coffin is nailed shut. So let's just move forward because it's done and over with." She finally agreed with me. Before I would have asked what was to become of us, but this time my presence was different. I know shit happened and its over, but fucking move forward and don't worry about spilled milk. Needless to say, I didn't ask her what was to become of us, just that her stubborn Leo ass should keep in touch with me and that I'm taking the coffin back with me. She laughed, and I knew that I had a happy woman there now, and that is where you want them for all situations (Friendship, Manipulation, Revenge), though honestly I don't know what path I am going to take with this one. As soon as I had that rapport going, I let her go and turned my attention to my phone. It was Liza, laying in her bed being all snuggly with me.
You see Liza is a good girl. But she laughs too fucking much and gets so annoying. Even when she tries to get intimate with me, she giggles and laughs that it makes me shake my head more than anything, and were not talking my dickhead. Well this time she wanted to return the favor from the last time I gave her an orgasm. She fires up her toy and gets to work. She sounds pretty fucking hot for the first few minutes or two. Unfortunately shit goes south from there. I have never heard a woman moan so loud and shrill that it sounded like horses swimming in a lava pit. I mean I had to stop what I was doing and hold the phone away from my mouth because I started to laugh so fucking hard while she was climaxing over the phone. It was fucking horrific and funny at the same time and when she finished, I had to get my shit under control and fake I was tired so I can laugh in the privacy of my own domain. I hate to say it, but Liza has the sexual prowless of a 12 year old boy, and I will probably never be imtimate or be in a relationship with her.
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